Choose Your Response

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~ Viktor Frankl

This past week, the subject of relationships has been at the forefront of my mind: from those with family and friends, co-workers, to even the casual interactions that occur on a daily basis. It is through the magic alchemy of relationship that we come to know ourselves. Through the mirror of relationship we see our beauty, realize our fears and insecurities, and come to know our strengths and best attributes. And although we stand physically separate from each other, knowing the world through the lens of our individual perspectives, we share more in common than not. We all want to be seen and heard, to feel happy and safe, to love and be loved.

Relationships, when approached with intention and mindfulness, can be very powerful. Focusing deliberately in the moment, without judgment, may not only open the door to understanding and compassion, but also lead to profound healing. When approached from this perspective, acceptance without expectations is possible, forgiveness replaces anger, kindness and appreciation are effortless, and trust and unconditional love arise because we see each other and ourselves in the only moment that matters… now. In this moment of now, all things are possible, like choosing to be the best person one can be… fears of an anticipated future can fall away… miracles can happen!

Suggested practice: Choose your response 

Consider this practice before responding to someone, regardless of the situation. It takes less than a couple of minutes to get centered:

– Arriving in the moment, feel the breath move throughout the body. Notice the breath deep within the belly and grounding you through the hips and legs. Feel all four corners of your feet on the ground

– From this centered place, notice the sensations arising around the heart

– Breathing into the heart, notice the response that feels appropriate. Trust and speak it

 Your intention is everything as it underlies action and focuses energy. Given this, what is your intention with this interaction? Where might you like to focus your energy?

Choosing your response, allows you to show up in a way that is authentic, honest and real. And when you give yourself this gift, you allow the other person to do the same.

If you’d like to explore this and other practices further, join me for classes online or in-person. If you’d like to dive a bit deeper, consider a private session.

Originally published in Mind-Body Journal